Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday's tend to be rather exhausting days for Marcus because he is at the church from 7:30AM till about 8:30PM (sans a 3 hour window where he comes home before the 6:00PM service). Isaac and I have been attending the 6:00PM service because I can't get a shower in and get ready before Marcus leaves at 7:00AM to attend an earlier service. Excuses excuses...yep, that's my story.
But yesterday was a bit different because we tried to install a new napping situation. I know certain people will look down on us and go, "Don't they know they are NOT supposed to do that??" regarding how Isaac naps, to which I say, with all my love, "BACK OFF!!" :)
Anyway, Isaac has never been a big napper. There are a few instances where he slept for several hours at a time when he was really little, but he doesn't like to nap in his crib...at all. One day he was so exhausted and was fighting going to sleep when Marcus just took him into our room, laid down next to him on the bed, and he was out for two hours. TWO HOURS! This was monumental! He's sleeping for more than 20 minutes at a time...I'll take it. So that has been our napping situation for the last two months. He gets his sleep, we take our computers into our room and work while he sleeps next to us, and all is well with the world.
But I started second guess myself when I started to think about maybe needing a babysitter from time to time in the afternoon and dealing with the naps. Hmmm. That might cause a problem. So we decided to ease Isaac into napping in his crib.
Saturday it went really well. He cried for a few minutes but seemed to fall asleep shortly after that. Success!!! Wow, this just might be easier than I thought! Yeah...right.
So yesterday I fed him, we played for a bit, and when he started to rub his sweet little eyes, I put him in his crib. The little guy did NOT like that one bit. I let him cry for a few minutes, go in and rub his face and belly, and leave. The cries would get harder and harder, and more heart breaking every time. I stuck to my guns though and he finally fell asleep. For all of 20 minutes.
Later that afternoon we went through the same routine and ooohhhhh boy, did this mama's heart break every time I had to close the door behind me. Good grief, it was hard. I went downstairs with the baby monitor and sat on the couch and cried with him. Ufff...I hate hearing my sweet baby boy cry.
I sat there praying for strength, for comfort for Isaac, that he would actually sleep, and asking if I was doing the right thing. I had the most amazing encounter with the Lord at that very moment. I felt God say, "I know it hurts to hear your son cry. I've been there. " The image of Christ on the cross, crying out to his Father flashed through my mind and I can't even begin to tell you how my heart sank. When I talk with other parents about their kids, there is an instant connection of, "Oh man, I totally understand what you're going through." I felt that same connection with God, the Creator of the world, knowing how hard it is to hear our children cry. But even though He could have sent down an army of angels and saved His Son from dying, He knew the bigger picture and knew what had to be done.
Am I comparing my little Isaac with Jesus dying on the cross?? HEAVENS no. It was such a beautiful moment of understanding and peace that came from knowing that God knows exactly what we are going through when we hear our children cry. As simple as that is, it brought me such amazing peace.
And Isaac slept for an hour after that :) Sweet little baby steps...