Sleep....

For the normal person, one doesn't miss something until it is gone. That idea is so true on many fronts...especially after having a child. Granted, you gain so much more after this little one enters your life, but there are a few things that go by the wayside once this little person takes over 99% of your life. One of the most missed aspects is a very simple one...sleep.

Oh sleep...how I miss you. How you used to tickle my eyelids with your warm embrace for upwards of 9 hours a night and I would wake up refreshed, renewed, and energized. How we used to laugh at the thought of welcoming you into our world before 9:00PM because there was the Daily Show to watch, followed by The Cobert Report as a soothing nightcap for our day. When the only sound that entered our room was Marcus' crazy loud snoring, which was perfectly hidden by my earplugs, which now I cannot sleep without. Dear sleep...ah, that you are...a dear friend who has gone missing for close to six months. With that we say...we will see you again...someday.

When I saw my sweet cousin from Austin, TX at my brother's wedding last month, she was asking me all sorts of questions about parenthood and how things were going. I told her how amazing it is, how it is hands down the greatest blessing and joy you can have in life, and the first time that baby smiles at you...wow...your heart is a puddle of melted love. That child is the greatest thing to enter into your life. But, I felt like I had to be perfectly honest with her...it is also the most difficult and hardest thing I have EVER done.

Let's be perfectly frank, the first two months are all about survival. There were many times where I really questioned if I would make it. The mixture of hormones, overwhelming feelings of love and feeling completely inadequate for this unbelievable task ahead of you sometimes feels so enormous that you question if you will ever get past it. Believe me, you do get past it and forget how difficult those first two months are. We are five months in and it has gotten so much better...except for the sleep.

Granted, he sleeps a full night for an infant. 7-8 hours straight is considered a full nights sleep and he certainly passes that. But when you go to bed at 7:30PM, eight hours later is 3:30 and boy are they ready to eat. I am really looking forward to the day where he actually sleeps till 6 or 7 AM without any earlier wake-up calls. I know this day will come!!

But it's the naps that are killing us right now. The boy does not like to sleep more than 30 minutes a few times during the day. Yesterday he actually slept for 3 hours, which is a complete miracle and hasn't been replicated yet today. I'm quite sad about that. He actually just woke up after only 30 minutes. At least he is happy and not cranky.

Sleep...we will see you soon...we miss you!

Sweetness...

Yesterday I finally admitted that it would be nice to have an iPhone for one reason...to have a camera with me all the time to capture one of the sweetest aspects of motherhood. Yesterday Isaac did NOT want to nap...at all. When we don't have naps we have a crabby baby on our hands. So yesterday I took him into our room and I laid down with him. A sweet 45 minutes later I wake up to his rosy cheeked face cuddled up to my chest and his soft breath filling the space between us. My eyes welled up with tears of joy and I felt like the most blessed woman on the planet. I took a mental picture to file away in my memory and remember when I have a moment of relaps looking at other peoples lives and wondering, "Why can't I have that?" The beautiful blessings that are right before us...why do we look beyond the bountiful blessings that we have to be jealous of what we don't? I am so gilty of that and God gave me such a sweet reminder of all that I have been blessed with. Thank you :)

Money shmuny...

I have to admit, I am a tad bit of a worrier. It's a trait that comes to me from my father's side of the family and it lives in my belly with a dollop of anxiety on the side. Granted, I don't worry about every little thing, but there are some big things that weigh on my mind more than others. This week it has been something that I think a lot of people worry about these days...money. My husband and I both work freelance, which is such an amazing blessing on so many fronts, like getting to stay home to raise our son, the freedom to work with who we want, being able to take off on vacation whenever we need to without asking for permission, and the list goes on. But the trade off is the lack of steady income, waiting on people to actually send you a check, having to pay for our own insurance, that kind of thing.

I'm sitting in my newly renovated office (I'll post pictures once we get everything situated) in my lovely home in Nashville and I greatly considered looking into applying for a job the other day. Work, for me, has slowed down this month (which I'm sure it will pick up again) and I just found myself getting sick of the ups and downs of self employment. We were stretched really thin this week financially and I got sick of having to call the same people to please PLEASE just put a stamp on the envelope and send me my @%#^ check!

But Marcus said something yesterday that really opened my eyes and made me finally rest regarding the entire deal. He said, "You know, God has completely provided for us, yet again. We have enough to pay our bills that are due this week and even have a little bit left over until the next check comes in." I thought back to other times in our four year marriage where we have been stretched financially and thought, you know, we've never gone hungry, yes we have been late on some payments and have had to save up for things that we really want, but He has always provided for us. God is good and I delight in that.

I know things will pick up but I'm enjoying being able to spend more time with Isaac, being able to keep the house clean, and not having the added pressure of deadlines on my head right now. I'm happy where God has me...and I'm thankful for that.

Home again, home again....

Well, we made it. Two weddings, several states and wonderful time with family and friends is now over, which makes me sad. I admitted before that I really questioned how two weeks in Iowa would go and we had a wonderful, relaxing, fun filled time. I miss my parents backyard already...Isaac has been incredibly fussy this morning and I know he would snap right out of it if we could put him in his bouncy seat outside to look a the trees.

This past weekend was my beautiful cousin (who I actually call my sister) wedding in Chicago and it was amazing. We got to see family again and it was just a really sweet time. I'll post some pictures soon.

This morning has gone rather slowly and I really want to get stuff put away, but with Isaac being in a bit of a funk, that has been put on ubber slow. That's OK with me...I'll just have another cup of coffee :)

Last day...

Isaac's view from my parent's back yard

Today is our last full day in Iowa and boy am I sad. Before we ventured off for this two week ride in Iowa I really wondered if I would go slightly insane. But it has gone by way too fast and we have had an amazing time. My parents have an absolutely amazing backyard that Lewis and Lola have taken full advantage of, but I think Isaac will miss it most. We have a nature boy on our hands people. He L-O-V-E-S being outside and looking at the trees. He was really restless yesterday afternoon so we just put him in his bouncy seat on the back porch and he was instantly happy. What I wouldn't give to have a back porch and cooler temperatures back in Nashville!!!

I don't know why but I've had a rather unsettling feeling in my belly the past few days. It mainly has to deal with work, or should I say lack of work right at the moment. I really feel like God is shifting gears and moving me into a new phase of my company. Although change sometimes brings bumps in the road in the beginning, it always ends up being better than before. I'm thankful for that and am ready for the adventure.

Oh Iowa...

Today Mom, Isaac and I went out to embark on an outing and get a few things done. Mom had her long list of things she needed to pick up and Isaac and I were along for the ride. And oh what a ride it was. If you have never experienced Hot Rod Ziggy Tiggy (yes, this is what my brother calls mom...Hot Rod for short) behind the wheel, heaven help you. It's tornadic activity hidden within a mini van.

So while Isaac and I were white knuckling it in the back seat, we were taking in the sights of Muscatine. He had his beloved trees to look at and I got to take in the crazies that were out and about at 2:00PM on this rainy, chilly afternoon. We decided to venture into Family Dollar, a store that I have never been into, and it was quite the experience. Not because of what they sold but rather for a woman in the store who happened to be one of the loudest talkers I have ever encountered. Mom and I were at the opposite end of the store and we heard plain as plain about her car troubles and the fact that she had to buy two new tires. Then she talked about how her and her boyfriend hung out in the McDonalds parking lot last night and made fun of "preppy" girls that were getting something to eat. What a romantic evening. I seriously don't think she took a breath. It was a 15 minute run on sentence that ended with, "...she took my 'Kiss Me I'm Irish' t-shirt and I'm pissed." That is classy with a capital K.

Field of Dreams...

Last Thursday Marcus, Isaac, Lola, Lewis and I embarked on our adventurous nine hour drive to Iowa for my brother's wedding. I am very pleased to say that the drive wasn't nearly as bad as we had anticipated. Isaac did really well considering he had never been in the car for more than a half hour at a time.

We got to my parent's house early Thursday evening and then we headed up to my brother's house the next morning, which is about two hours further north. We got to see my beloved family and spend some wonderful time with them. We got to hang out with my brother, my new sister, cousins (who are more like sisters) from Austin and Chicago, my aunt from the San Antonio area, my other cousins from Iowa, uncles, aunts, you name it. It was a fantastic time and a beautiful wedding.

So the next wedding we will attend is for my sweet double cousin Rebecca and Tim, who we absolutely adore, in two weeks in Chicago. Just so we don't have to subject Isaac to two more nine hour car rides, he, the dogs and I are staying at my parents house until the wedding. Marcus actually had to drive back to Nashville this morning for the week for work reasons and will drive back up the following Monday. I really miss him already :(

Today has been very peaceful and I'm trying to get a little bit of work done. Things have kind of slowed down work wise for me (which isn't good for our bank account but nice in regards to taking care of the little man) but they should pick up soon. So I'm taking advantage of this time to sit in my mom and dad's amazing back yard with Isaac and the dogs along with a good book. Isaac absolutely loves to look at the trees so he is greatly enjoying our outside time. The bugs are coming out in full force though, so we are in the living room under the fan taking it easy. It's a quiet day :)