Ah-ha!! First post of 2010...four days into the New Year. We are on top of things.
I mentioned a little project that I'm going to embark on this year in my last post and now I'll go into a little more detail. I'm actually pretty excited about it because it involves organizing things (even the word "organization" makes my fingers tingle) but it's also a new adventure and challenge. Being someone who needs to name everything (seriously, I've named every single one of Isaac's stuffed animals) I haven't come up with a clever name for this project, so that is shortly coming.
Since we are quickly approaching Isaac's first birthday on the 27th, I've been thinking back over the past year with quite a bit of amazement. Not only did it go by freaky fast, but it also comes with the realization that we actually made it. We did it! We survived the first year of having a kid!
The first few months I didn't think I would make it, to be perfectly honest. Marcus was (and is) my rock and he was amazingly encouraging and comforting to me in those first hormone filled, blindingly tired months. I was up to my eyeballs in estrogen, at the time I hated nursing and I would much rather ripped my boobs off than deal with the pain of this 10 pound creature gnawing on me, he wasn't sleeping, and I wanted to punch the next person who said, "Oh, isn't motherhood just wonderful?"
At the time, no it wasn't. I'm just being honest here people. It was incredibly hard and I was scared to death that I would never love it like I should have. Thankfully, I absolutely love it now.
I know you might question if I'm high when I say this, but I kind of miss those first few months. Mainly because I'm on the other side of it now and I would be able to say with full assurance, "You can do this. You will make it out alive...and with your boobs fully attached."
As women I think there is a thread within our DNA that makes us think that we need to have it all and do it all right away. I went back to work three weeks after having Isaac, which was insane. Granted, I work from home, but it was still adding a lot of stress on my already recovering body and dealing with a paper thin emotional state. I thought I needed to be back at it, back to my normal weight, have my house clean and sparkling, and my life in order just weeks after having a baby.
This is when my mom's wisdom and amazing help finally sank into my hard head. She simply said, "Cut yourself some slack."
Simple words, yes, but oh so profound.
It was then that I decided I needed to give myself a year. An entire year with this kid to not only get my footing (because, let's be honest gals, it takes a while), to get to know this little guy, and to get to know myself again after having him because, as much as we sometimes don't like to admit it, we are different than what we used to be.
So we are at that year mark and I'm ready to get things back in order. I'm ready, with Isaac and Marcus in hand, to reclaim some order, some sanity, and some more of who I am now that I'm a Mom. It's not a self-centered time by any means. It's seeing how everything (marriage, baby, house, work, friends) can work in harmony together without letting our marriage, child, home, or even myself go by the wayside.
My challenge is to document reclaiming life a year after having our first baby. Now that I have regained some footing, I'm ready to get things back in order. It's not going to be perfect by any means, and that's totally fine. Add to that our goal to sell our house within the next year and, boy oh boy, do we have some work to do. Marcus is creating a separate website for me to document all of this, so I'll be sure to post that once I get that in order.
I'll have the purpose of this challenge in a more concise manner on the side...this explanation was more of a "throwing it out there" to get things rolling. I'm one that needs accountability and, in a weird way, this blog & website will be my accountability. I'll share ways and ideas that we have come up with to make our house more orderly & organized, how we have changed things to get the house ready to sell, new & inexpensive ways to entertain and educate Isaac, and how I'm finding my own voice, style, and identity again as a Mom. Should be a fun ride.
Anyway, thanks for sticking with this long post! Sorry if it feels more like a ramble rather than a fully thought out idea. I'm getting my thoughts and ideas in order and I hope to get this rolling this week. I'll keep you posted!
Until then, I'll leave you with the strangest sleeping position I've found Isaac in. Not sure how or why he was like this, but he was obviously comfortable.