I have to admit, I am a tad bit of a worrier. It's a trait that comes to me from my father's side of the family and it lives in my belly with a dollop of anxiety on the side. Granted, I don't worry about every little thing, but there are some big things that weigh on my mind more than others. This week it has been something that I think a lot of people worry about these days...money. My husband and I both work freelance, which is such an amazing blessing on so many fronts, like getting to stay home to raise our son, the freedom to work with who we want, being able to take off on vacation whenever we need to without asking for permission, and the list goes on. But the trade off is the lack of steady income, waiting on people to actually send you a check, having to pay for our own insurance, that kind of thing.
I'm sitting in my newly renovated office (I'll post pictures once we get everything situated) in my lovely home in Nashville and I greatly considered looking into applying for a job the other day. Work, for me, has slowed down this month (which I'm sure it will pick up again) and I just found myself getting sick of the ups and downs of self employment. We were stretched really thin this week financially and I got sick of having to call the same people to please PLEASE just put a stamp on the envelope and send me my @%#^ check!
But Marcus said something yesterday that really opened my eyes and made me finally rest regarding the entire deal. He said, "You know, God has completely provided for us, yet again. We have enough to pay our bills that are due this week and even have a little bit left over until the next check comes in." I thought back to other times in our four year marriage where we have been stretched financially and thought, you know, we've never gone hungry, yes we have been late on some payments and have had to save up for things that we really want, but He has always provided for us. God is good and I delight in that.
I know things will pick up but I'm enjoying being able to spend more time with Isaac, being able to keep the house clean, and not having the added pressure of deadlines on my head right now. I'm happy where God has me...and I'm thankful for that.